i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
