its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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