I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
