Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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