i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
