yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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