So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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