I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
