yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
