Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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