Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
