either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
