I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
