Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
