Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
