She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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