I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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