...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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