these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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