i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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