So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
