I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize