i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
