i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
