I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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