do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
