There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
