I want to make a zoo with you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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