i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize