I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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