chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
