i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
