I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
