I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
