did you get engaged???
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
