did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
