Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
