Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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