If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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