Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
