This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
