ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
