I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
