im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
