a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
