Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
