i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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