just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
