she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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