I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
