Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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