My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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