He is such a slut. More and more my type.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
