Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
