Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
