AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
