I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He shit in the fireplace
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
