It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
