Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
