She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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