I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
