i permit you to call me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
