is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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